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Understanding modesty – a look at Muslim men

By Aabeda Masra, Communications Intern

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In the global dialogue about Muslims, the gender that suffers most is the Muslim men who garner distrust and suspicion from non-Muslims and seemingly lack attention in the Muslim community.  Negative media portrayals of Muslim men have depicted them as oppressive forces who brutalize their women and kids and fail to extend equal respect and rights to the citizens around them.  At the same time, they are also least defended and protected than the women in the Muslim world.

One of the most common questions raised by the non-Muslims is that ‘if a Muslim woman is mandated to wear hijab, then why is a Muslim man exempt from this obligation in Islam?’

The truth is that Muslim men are equally required to follow hijab.

The term “hijab” does not refer to a headscarf, but Islamically, in the broader sense, it encompasses modesty and chastity of men and women’s garments and guarding one’s gaze.  Guarding one’s gaze refers to avoiding  “checking out” the opposite gender, to walk humbly as not to attract any undue attention and to remain virtuous throughout life.  However, society specifically attached the word “hijab” to a fabric that appropriately covers the head.

When following hijab, men are required not to wear tight and revealing clothes or behave in such a manner where they are sexually objectifying themselves.  This is similar to requirements that must be upheld by Muslim women.  Men are obligated to cover themselves from navel to below the knee.  Though this is quite a loose definition of appropriate dressing, it is only allowed if there are no women present.

While a woman in Islam has a choice to earn money or not, men are required to financially support their families.  The belly-button to below the knee dress code is tolerable in particular circumstances such as for a man holding a blue-collar job as he works under extreme dry temperature and heat.  However, if a woman is working alongside him in this kind of terrain, he has to observe a strict dress code.

Men are to dress simplistically, so their clothing does not imply vanity and status of their wealth because pride and boastfulness are one of the biggest sins in Islam.  Moreover, they are forbidden to dress like a woman.  They also cannot wear gold jewelry or silk clothing while women face no such restrictions.

Another requisite is that men should lower their gazes when encountering a woman to avoid disrespecting her by having sensual thoughts of her.  Most importantly, he is expected to be respectful to others, not only physically but also verbally, especially with the opposite gender.

Men are also mandated not to shake hands with women whom they do not have immediate familial relationships.  For instance, mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are the ones a man can freely intermingle with.  This practice is followed by some Muslims but not all.   It does not mean that a Muslim man cannot talk to a woman at all.  It is permissible as long as it is done in public with a respectful distance between their bodies, and the conversation has to follow the rules of modesty, without any inappropriate intentions on the part of either man or woman.

Many Muslim nations, such as Saudi Arabia, tend to have separate spaces for both the genders in public spheres. Because this idea of separate spaces is unfamiliar in the western world, the perceived reasons for it are often misunderstood. Separating spaces by gender is done to create a culture of modesty that coincides with Islamic belief. Religiously there are no pre-marital relationships or physicality between men and women and maintaining respectful space and distance is a way of maintaining Islamically appropriate interactions.

In regards to growing a beard, the situation is parallel to a woman wearing a niqab (the face covering).  Some Muslims hold belief that it is at the discretion of an individual while others sees it as a compulsory form of hijab.

Another significant aspect of hijab is that men and women both have the responsibility to remain chaste before their weddings to maintain a healthy society.

So, although men do not wear headscarves, their hijab is parallel to women’s. Both men and women have equivalent obligations and duties to follow in regards to clothing, when socially encountering the opposite gender and guarding one’s purity until the marital vows. Islam by no means promotes or advocates sexism as it clearly states in the Qur’an that both the men and women are equal with comparable rights.

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4 Responses to “Understanding modesty – a look at Muslim men”

  1. David says:

    The restrictions and interpretations you outlined in this article are identical for us as observant Jews. We cover our heads in humility, we pray to the G-d of the same father, and as an Iraqi, I share my food, music, and language with many of my Muslim brothers. Judaism, like Islam does not see that there is a separation between the religious and the profane. El/Allah and His law governs it all.

    So, I wonder why it is that my brother has such contempt for me? Did not your father Ismael come to our father Abraham’s funeral and mourn alongside my father Isaaq? Did not Esav embrace Yaqob when he far outnumbered him, and rather than shed blood – the two shed tears.

    I pray that one day soon, we will all awaken to the truth that G-d asks us to see and understand. Right now we battle like Cain and Able. The outcome of this course is not in doubt. If Jealousy, blinding anger, and bitter jealousy continue to inform our actions they will invariably lead to continued bloodshed, tears, pain, and I am afraid, eternal suffering.

    Rather, let us approach on the open field. Like our fathers, we will certainly do so cautiously as we have shared much pain. Let us lay down our swords – physical, spiritual, and verbal – and embrace. Let us mourne our loved one together, shed tears together. If we build a world in which we see both the individuals and the nations that stand before us brothers and sisters, we will certaily build a world of which our Creator may be proud.

  2. Ron Pelton says:

    This was a very good explanation. I guess these would be called “dress rules”. Do you ever discuss Muslin ethics here? I would like to see, somewhere, a succinct article on Muslin core values. The things that no Muslim thinks about, but they set his standards of true / false, right / wrong and so on. I guess these are the perceived eternal truths that form the basis of everyday decisions. Internal ethics. Can you point us to such a source?

  3. randa says:

    Unfortunately, many muslim men either forget that these rules apply to them, do not acknowledge that they are as imprtant for them to practise them as it is to muslim women, or repeat concepts of modesty that do not apply at this time and age. In many interfaith events I attended, I listened to muslim men explaining to others how it is prohibited for muslim women to shake hands with men or sit in mixed gatherings while they themselves are shaking hands and sharing a table with christian and jewish women. They talk how it is expected that muslim women happily stay at home and raise kids,and when traveling, are accompanied by a male, while they take their children to islamic schools where the majority of the teaching and administrative teams are women, their female relatives go to muslim female physicians, and their daughters are competitive students, living in doorms in top universities or studying abroad.

  4. An actual religious beliefs should increase trust, a bridge to God. An excellent religion summons us in community to express love toward one another and toward individuals less providential, plus mobilizes us to feed the hungry, dress poor people, cure the fallen and protect the bereaved. Spiritual techniques manuals our feelings while religious beliefs guides our actions. Theology is inward while religion leads outward. Theology can be practiced alone, but religion in society. When mysticism makes us more understanding, religious conviction impels us to perform concrete acts of loving-kindness.

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